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Hash House Harriers
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Hash Run 1264 from the Shant in Shay Lane somewhere in the Halifax area. The Hare was Brillo and his mangy mutt Found it!! For once Rambo was early, bought a paper and sat outside the Shay on Shay Lane near the football ground, waited and waited then rang Easyworlds but no answer so Sweetie was next on the list, who put me right! Now I’m at one side of Halifax and the Pack are at the other and its 1155am…………dilemma …….what to do – go to café and ask directions, three hairy arsed roadworkers having the bellybuster brekkie looking at me all funny in my licra shorts flip flops and hash teeshirt, realised I was Rambo and promptly gave me directions, they knew what was good for them. Off I popped, over the pavement through the no entry signs and roadworks and hey presto I had saved myself a few hundred yards of tarmac. On up the hill narrowly missing the big white unmistakable police van and got dirty looks from a gorgeous policewoman, down to the roundabout and of up the 629 to Keithley, on again through the road work’s, another illegal u turn and finally down onto Shay Lane the second and the Shant pub where a motly crew where lined up and ready to go. More latecomers were Grope and Black Widow and the entire Rapunzel clan who were getting suited and booted for the run. May I had that was the last time the Rapunzels were seen, maybe they are still on trail? There were 5 new boots - Lauren and Emily who were from the Halifax Evening Courier, Ben, Joe and Andy had been conned into coming for the ride, running in jeans is not the best in hot weather! Lauren the local rag’s piccie taker must have thought she was going dancing (or just got in from the night before!) she had seamed stockings on and ballet shoes and a very short dress that looked better when it blew up in the breeze, Shaggy the perv even sat on the floor for the Pack piccie so he could get a better view!! Emily – the local rag roving reporter was busy writing in mandarin (well that’s what it looked like) and taking lots of notes. Brillo gave the Pack the lowdown on the run and off we went in the direction of the arrow, Jake, myself, spunky monkey and a visitor from the Mijas hash in Spain, Daffy Dildo, plus Black Widow where soon on the trail with Rambo sniffing the trail and on on through the houses on the warm up loop, it was then back onto the main road and a side road up the biggest steepest hill we have encountered in a long time, Jake and Rambo were soon caught by the young guns (Ben – Andy and Joe) at the brow of the hill and the first regroup. Aint got Any mysteriously appeared and showed us the way, Easy, Littleworld, Spunky Monkey and Grope brought up the rear. On on again to the next check, Daffy Dildo found the on on and Jake followed by Rambo and Shaggy climbed the style and took off across country – the on on was called and Daffy Dildo was seen passing the road Rambo had been on on a falsie – clever thinking by Rambo saw him earning a down down for being a short cutting bastard down the steep banking and into the barbed wire fencing! The pack, were last seen on the brow of the hill……….. On on to the next Regroup where Lauren, Emma and Rock Chick, Brillo and Found it were waiting. Unbeknown to us Daffy had gone the wrong way and went back to the Shant! (he then started on the on inn and went backwards till he found the front running bastards again) after all the Pack were accounted for we did a tour of the empty business park before hitting a strip wood, by this time the short cutters were on the way back to the pub, leaving a small band of intrepid heroes to finish the best part of the trail, Grope and Rambo “cut the corner” and found some deep shiggy! Short cutting does not pay. Jake, Joe, Andy and Ben were lost in the woods but Grope found us a way out and a nice run through the woods was enjoyed. It was here we found Daffy again who then led the way back to the Shant and a well earned pint of Copper Dragon! A good trail but too much concrete and tarmac for a Sunday! The après hash was good with Rock Chick menacing money out of us for the raffle. Down downs were awarded to Brillo for being the walking drinking Hare (No beerstop to report on as there wernt one!) Rambo for being a SCB, all the new boots, Rock Chick for running a hundred yards the day before, Daffy for coming to run with us and wearing clean trainers! Shaggy had found an old trainer on the trail and Daffy was made to drink from it – hope he is up to date with his jabs!! he also says he will be a regular now and the last down down (which was well earned) went to Sleeping Bag who had just turned up after doing the Jane Tomlinson 10k in Leeds. All in all a pleasant day and good to meet our new boots who will be at the next hash from the West End in Kirkstall Rambo

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