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Hash House Harriers
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Run number 1290 Debauchery digs, Normanton 6th may 2007 Hares jake.and wheels Pack 23 Down downs 23 Scribe Trevor lee (to be said in a Michael cane voice)” Hello my name is Trevor lee” – I went for a run – met some crazy people –someone spun a bottle – and told me that I was the scribe for the run. That was seven months ago – since then I have won £89 million on the lottery –and I am now living on a greek island surrounded by lots and lots of greek totty and endless champagne. A short time ago I was visited by a lovely lady from south Africa who told me that she was a word arouser and she was going to remove my under wear and make me wear some very large ladies knickers until I had done my write up. We got as far as removing my underwear but as to what happened next I never can tell. Put it this way it was better than winning the lottery. She said that she would let me off doing the write up providing I could find a ghost writer to do it so I am now going to hand you over to my good friend who will attempt to tell you what happened. “Hello my name is Michael cane – I don’t know anything about hashing and I don’t know any of the people who took part that day. Not a lot of people know that!” I turned up and found out that a couple of guys called wheels and jake the peg were doing a hundred runs each today. Sound to me like they have a serious hygene problem and I hope that they were going to wipe up the mess. On further enquiry it turned out that these guys had gotten so old that they had asked a young blood by the name of love muscle to work out a trail for them. When he took them around it they had to cut 26 miles off it as it was too long. Maybe that’s how love muscle got his name but his missus –creamy ring wasn’t complaining – she always had a happy smile on her face. His younger brother little stiffy was also there with his woman rivet who was also smiling happily. What are these guys on ?must be that hash stuff. There was a lot of old timers on this run – one guy pyscho had a football sock fettish.Another was supposed to have a dick strapped to him but his woman charlotte couldn’t find it. Must have dropped off. Another lady appeared to have fallen off a donkey and looked a bit wonky. A studious looking lady – who looked a little bit like a mother superior –was doing all sorts of crazy things on the run . they called her FD amongst other things. A scouse guy called eveready kept running into supermarkets to find if the tins had passed their steal by date. Where do these people get their crazy names from? What did Bigfoot, borderline,little world,who’s whose and paddy o day do to get their names? And there was on bloke called pansy but I steered clear of him. When the run was finished a bloke dressed up as a farmer with wellies and a flat cap by the name of matilda made people drink beer down in one go for doing the following silly things . Wheels and jake – a hundred runs each and they were given embroidered waist coats Creamy ring – birthday Rapunzel –for being silly Paddy o day for being even sillier Wonky donkey for falling off her donkey Sweetbreads for climbing on wonky’s donkey Charlotte - another birthday Trevor lee (that’s me folks) and borderline for being a new boots Mummy ring (creamy ring’s mummy bear) for making lots and lots of wonderful grub including the 100 runs cake. And creamy ring’s son was also there enjoying all the festivities My name is Michael cane – I did not do the trail –I was called in to show you how to do a hash write up when you got so pissed that you had completely forgotten what the hell went on . It’s easy – and not a lot of people know that. Thank you creamy and love muscle for your horsepitality.

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