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Yorkshire 1234 Yan, Tan, Thethera, Methera! For the small Herts away team, their journey up “God’s own country” after work had them spending the evening in Settle, all their plans rapidly changed after they found that a Taxi was pretty much impossible to get at that time of the evening, especially being trapped within the “Karaoke triangle” of Yorkshire. Later on that weekend, if they had realised that they could have walked it in 40 minutes, or had the energy, then they would have turned up for the Friday evening soiree. While the Herts lads were out & about testing the Settle Pubs & being moved on by the racket of the loud Scaryoke, the rest of the Hash where ensconced in the Craven Heifer in Stainforth, there they enjoyed the Ale until returning to the Barn to start on the free Hash beer there. One thing the H4 lads missed out on & wished they had seen was Me Juliee (Banana Bender) receiving the “Bumps” to celebrate her birthday, or as she said later, it was more like the “Drags” as she was hardly raised from the floor by the crowd & her top was left in a right state afterward. Saturday Morning & the Herts trio paid a local shop a visit to purchase a present & a Birthday card for Me Juliee, they selected the one that reminded them of her. It had a very stressed looking chicken on it & in the background was a large lorry hurtling toward the unsuspecting fowl! The H4 Lads then caught the local Bus up to the YHA, which was going to be their sleeping accommodation for the next couple of nights. Yes there is a bus service in this area, contrary to what was written it the YH3 mail outs. Having established base at the Hostel, it was a short walk down to the Bunk House. When they arrived at the venue who should they meet sitting outside the converted barn bunkhouse? None other than Mouldy Dick, Hairy Bell Knob & a few others who were all sipping tea after eating breakfast, they cheerily greeted the H4 lads. They were then informed that they should have turned out the night before as some crash space could have been had on the sofas in the main venue barn. Hindsight is a wonderful thing! Ever Ready emerged from the party barn, after inspecting the previous night’s party wreckage that was left over. He approached the Herts lads & was immediately greeted with a “You owe me twenty quid!” from Mr.X, who was collecting his & Flossie’s stake in the Herts Hash Big Brother sweep. Mouldy thought it an amusing way of saying hello! For those sitting on the wall beside the stream they would soon feel the spray of water as Mouthwash slapped a mop into the shallow water ebbing over the stones as it came through the stonewall behind. If this wasn’t enough for Foot in Crotch, he had to contend with a junior Boghopper trying to beat him up over the weekend, mostly at unexpected times, & it was rather akin to Inspector Clouseau being set upon by Kato in the Pink Panther films. Foot in Crotch will have to watch out when he opens the fridge! Rapunzel found the Herts gang & kind of made up their goody bags on the spot, organization there’s nothing like it (typically Hash like, as this was nothing like organisation!) then he sorted out their Rego’s, well in a manner of speaking he did as he found Mr.X & My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead’s but there was no Hyena on the list. After a quick scan down the names, it was soon established that the loss of paperwork was to blame for there being no Hyena on the list & after a guess as to who from Herts the cheque was from, TC’s name was put forward & on to the list. TC hadn’t even registered & was not going to be present but it’s an easy mistake to confuse the two, one being portly & white, the other thin & black! Hyena was none too pleased! The Goodie bags where of a bright yellow draw-string shoe bag type, within were a T-shirt, a Trash, a lot of hotel soaps & shampoo freebies, & just for the Tykes a condom “for safe Sheep Shagging” with Yorkshire’s logo on the packet, hopefully the wrappers were stapled before the packets were placed within! But all importantly there were two personalised drinking glasses! The rest of the Pack slowly came down from Breakfast & eventually a circle formed. Matilda had a couple of Down-Downs to award before the Pack got under way, as he said on Friday night “Look after your glass & your glass will look after you!” then called out Ever ready! As he scoffed at Ever Ready’s plight, Shaggy Plug was called in to join him to down some of the awful looking remnants of the night before residing in their “lost” but now recovered glasses! Twonk was going to make sure he wasn’t going to be hit for this as loudly he announced that his absent glass wasn’t missing, it couldn’t be, as he knew where it was safely stashed away! Pints & HRT were introduced as the Hares, they were made to work extremely hard to be heard over the chattering crowd, the Hares endeavoured to explain the Yorkshire Hash markings to the visitors. They also mentioned some wild Bullocks to watch out for on Trail, to which a reply of “Yer Bollocks!” was heard from Wheels! They added that at one point on the Trail, the flour may seem a bit scarce as they were chatting while walking along & forgot to put down Dust for a bit! Lasses Eh? Once the Trail anomalies were forced into what little grey matter remained after the Friday session, Sleeping Bag was awarded the Yorkshire toilet seat Hashit & to this he added two toilet rolls stolen from the Ladies! Don’t call the Police as they have nothing to go either! After this Longhose stepped up & recited a Hash Prayer before the Hares directed the Pack out to the main Stainforth road. The Hash steamed up toward the village of Stainforth, passing the YHA en route. Now Me Juliee & Twonk had decided that they would peel off to the right & head to the Craven Heifer as the main road reached the outskirts of the village. Meanwhile the rest were keeping faith with the main drag as it came to a bridge over the railway to a tributary below. A CHK there kept the Pack confused for a while, some crossed back over to look in the village, down by the local Church. There Dust was found, but the continuous hollering of the Hares persuaded them to cut across a walled in paddock & back to the main drag. The Trail led up to a single track lane on the left, this started to run down the hillside & into the vale. The Pack crossed over the old narrow stone bridge spanning the river Ribble & on to a CHK by a camp site near to Stainforth Force waterfall. On the way up the lane to Little Stainforth, only Eunuch was lured away by the footpath sign, he clambered over the ladder to scale the dry stone wall to run over the sheep field on the opposite side. The rest of the Pack followed Matilda as he carried on up the lane on Dog Hill Brow, dust was found & the Pack made their way up to the crossroads with only a few stone houses scattered around the hamlet that is Little Stainforth. Again it took a while to find the Trail, the Hares must have been nattering? When it was picked up again, it was straight on up over the crossroads & on to the end of the lane where it became an uncapped track. The Pace slowed as the Hash found the gradient getting steeper as the Hash advanced further up the ridge, some sixty metres in a couple of hundred yards. A CHK by a turn in the track saw the Pack moving off to the south. As Jake the Peg came back from the False Trail over the stone wall to the North, he was heard to grumble that half of his planned Trail for the following day had now been used! The Track led out to the open fields, the going was still slow as the route was pretty stony underfoot. The path lost a little height as the Pack followed it around the bottom of the scraggy outcrop of Feizor Thwaite, there they would encounter the wild Bullocks that the Hares had mentioned at the briefing. As the mad bovines ran amok, the Pack quietly wandered over to a set of steps to get over a stone wall, the inquisitive cattle looked down from a higher plateau as the Hash scaled the wall to leave their homeland. The Pack were now in between two walls & heading back up hill, there was plenty of shiggy where the water was trapped there. Out of the walled path & the Hash came out on to the open expanse of an exposed plateau, the wind was more noticeable. A few took shelter when the Dust arrived at a CHK beside a stone wall before the steppe gently falls away, there were three options left to choose from according to the four armed signpost. From this height the Pack could see for miles over lush verdant rolling hills, truly a beautiful vista, only a the grey cloudy skies could put a dampener on things. The Keenies took to searching all of the options, & the Hares must have been very chatty up there as it took a while before any Dust was found. Mr. X said to Wheels that the lack of Dust may have been down to the Hares having used it to bake a cake for the Hash, perhaps he wasn’t far from the truth? Wheels & Mr. X had noticed that when HRT called for the next CHK to be held she did so with more than a nod toward the North, on the very path they were on! The Trail resumed that way, so Wheels & Mr.X were like the cats who had got the cream! The trail ran over the undulating ridges below cheerily named “Dead man’s cave” up in the rocky crag & on to the next CHK, at this point Pints suddenly became a bit more active & she picked up her pace to run along with the Keenies, seems that she had the keys to the car containing the Hash Beer! There was one more CHK before the Pack could enjoy a beer & a respite. As the Pack awaited the back marker to catch up, Mr.X was seen to be edging away from the signpost that the Pack were congregating around, did he know something or had the scent of Ale in his nostrils? Looking back over the ridge, a rare sight was seen as Twonk came over the crest, he was accompanied by Me Juliee, it seems that the Craven Heifer was shut! When the Pack were allowed to continue, Mr.X found the he now had an advantage on the rest as he made his way down the open way to the Old Hall Farm, on the end of Kiln hill lane at Feizor in the valley below, there the Beer stop was found! The shelter from the wind at the Beer stop was most welcome. HRT had made cheesy feet, & some ginger ones, for the Pack to munch on while supping away. Where these made from the flour that wasn’t put down on the Trail? Twonk, Me Juliee & Big Foot took to sitting down & for this they received a Down-Down. Bog Hopper, Ever Ready, Flossie & a couple of others were also awarded hits at the Beer stop by Matilda, then Longhose had the Circle getting warmed up again for the next stage of the Trail by encouraging everyone to perform along with Father Abraham! Meanwhile Headbutt had sneaked away but was spotted sheltering by a stone wall where she was painting her fingernails! The Pack set off & all but Foot in Crotch managed to work their way up the dead end lane that became a track running up the hill & led along beside Feizer wood. A Long sustained climb sorted out the fitter Hashers from those who may have over-indulged on the Friday night! The Trail came up to the top of the ridge & passed by some walkers who were sitting out at a couple of park benches, when Lick It Up made it to this point she apologised for the Hash passing through & disturbing their ramble! Eunuch stayed with the track as it headed down toward an isolated stone farm building but he had to make his way back when Jake the Peg called “On!” from over a set of steps on a high stone wall. Now the Keenies were going to be led around a sizable loop as the long Trail ran down the hillside beside Wharfe wood, the going became slow as their feet were bogged down in the marshy land in the bottom of the valley. Ahead of the Keenies the imposing Moughton Nab could be seen towering up, Jake the Peg said that this pavement topped mass of rock is just like a moonscape if you venture up there as he has done, those around him took his word for this & carried on with the Trail, free from any thoughts of scaling this monster! The Keenies passed through a couple of cattle enclosures before finding the dust turning back on itself by way of a single track lane to the Farm. Once through the Farm yard, & the old metal gates shut & secured with some ropey orange string, the Keenies like Mouthwash were left feeling slightly deflated at the sight ahead of them! For once they FRBs had made their way down the path between two stone walls, which acted like a conduit to channel water down off the higher land, & squelched out in to the meadow they found themselves running up behind the ambling likes of Hyena, Twonk & the other SCBs! The Trail crossed a part of Swarth moor to get on to the road leading to Helwith Bridge, on the long trot down the slightly inclining moor the Pack could see Dry Rig quarry in the distance to the Northwest. The sight of the Pub made a few of the Keenies put on an extra spurt of speed to reach the Helwith Bridge Pub in order to leave the SCBs behind & so not to have too long await at the bar. A good choice of Ales meant a few weren’t going to be in a hurry to leave this establishment, not only that but the Rain started to pour down & the poor woman serving on her own was doing her best when the Pack swamped the Bar with orders! Still she never complained & just got on with serving, when the back log of thirsty Hashers was finally cleared she came out to chat about what the Hash is all about. When Big Foot & Jake the Peg arrived, the Herts lads took the piss out of them for “bringing the weather up with them from the Isle of Wight” but it wasn’t going to be anything like the monsoon experienced down there, that Big Foot & Jake said they had originally brought down from Yorkshire to the Solent! Or as Flossie called this stretch of water once, the Solvent! After the Hash had been in the pub for at least 40 minutes, Foot in Crutch finally came through the door, he looked like a drowned rat after getting caught out off Trail in the downpour. Most of the Hash found it amusing that he was in a state. With all of the rain that has been had up north, the countryside looks green & the rivers are in full flow, a contrast with down south & the Herts lads told of the possible drought orders that may be brought in to force. They said how that there hosepipe ban & even Circus Clowns were not allowed to throw buckets of water at each other, seriously, this had been banned by some local authorities! Once the rain had ceased the Trail resumed & it was not taxing to find the way, for it took to the B6479 & followed this road up over the steep hill & then back down in to Stainforth. Mouthwash decided that he was going to run this bit. Scrumpy on the other hand had more sense & she walked up with Mr. X. Some failed right near the end to follow the Trail & went a little astray when it left the main road & they had to cut across a field before the Church but it hardly mattered by then. Wheels managed to cadge a lift back from Helwith in the back of a truck to heading to Stainforth, someone else managed to get on a local bus & get there, both would pay the price for this short cutting with a Down-Down in the Circle after they bragged about how cleaver they were! Surely Wheels is old enough to remember the adage “Careless Talk cost lives!” As Mr.X was trotting in through the village at the very end of the Trail, just before the cross roads in front of the Pub, Big Foot called out to him so he stopped in his tracks, while he was stationary Big Foot ran on by him & straight in to the Bar. She was as pleased as punch to have caught him out & beaten the Herts boys to the Bar! The staff in the Craven Heifer didn’t seem to be very jolly, but the Hash were happy to drink the decent Thwaites Ales. After several Pints, & a long time of listening to Big Foot gloat at the Herts Lads, the Pack were called outside for a Circle. On the way out by the Snug bar they were told to take only two sandwiches from the measly platter the Pub had put on! Those like the Herts gang who didn’t take their two sarnies would find that there were none left when they returned after the Circle! The Yorkshire committee were heard to grumble at the lack of food put on by a Pub that had seen plenty of money go across its bar in the last two days, you couldn’t blame them either. The Pack Circled up outside the front of the Pub as there was now little chance of the pub receiving anymore Hash patronage. Matilda stepped forward with an inflatable sheep about his crotch area, he was joined by Shaggy Plug as they were the RA’s for the day & so Stan & Ollie they kicked off by awarding the Hares Down-Downs for setting a fine Trail. Other hits were a bit of Translating from Afrikaans of “Jou Ma Buk Fir N’ Renoster!” for Headbutt as she was called forward after being spotted painting her nails on Trail, she was none too happy with this but couldn’t remember who had seen her carry out this act, & Mr.X hid out of her view! Visiting GMs were asked to enter the Circle & their presence honoured with a Down-Down. Foot in Crotch was called out for going the wrong way from the Beer Stop & getting lost out on the moor for quite some time. Shaggy Plug was not careful enough when he put his pint down & in his excitement he managed to knock his own glass over & break it in the Circle! An immediate Down-Down was dispensed to him by Matilda! Wonky Donkey was another popular choice in the circle, for what ever she had done. The was a change of Hashit as Sleeping bag was relieved of the bog seat & it was handed over to Lick It Up, she seemed to think that the GM should be exempt from being awarded this prize, hey even Mafia Godfather John Gotti wasn’t that Teflon coated! Whoever placed the Hash Horn up the butt of one of the inflatable sheep should have been out in the circle, perhaps they were later? The Pack returned to the site for an excellent Curry from the two ex-army chefs, then it was back to the other barn for the evening party, where things kicked off with more Down-Downs. These took place upstairs in the barn, there Mouldy Dick & Candyfloss joined the host of RA’s. Lick It Up managed to get rid of the Hashit & it went straight back to Sleeping Bag! There were plenty of other sinners in to the Circle, Hyena & My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead among them, of course Ever Ready was called upon as he has a season ticket for Down-Downs in Yorkshire! Shaggy Plug ended up on his knees & drinking from Candyfloss’s cock, that’s his rubber chicken that was filled with beer! The crowd were treated to an erotic Hash act where the Yorkshire Girls performed a sultry striptease, but before they could complete this, the curtain came down. The crowd were asked if they would like to see more of the Yorkshire Hash, the cry of “Yes!” rang out & the curtain opened to reveal the girls had been replaced by the lads who only had small plastic hats to cover their predicaments! The theme for the evening was “Royalty” & with the sofas in the upstairs room there seemed to be a lot of bone-idle Jim & Barbara Royals lounging upon them! Others like Mr. X had sorted through Old Hash shirts to find one with a Royal or Royalty connection, his was the Royal Southside Hash from when he was in Hong Kong! Sweet Breads was decked out in an outfit of a warrior, by the end of the night her breast-plate, shield, helmet & belt all ended up adorning the main beam in the roof! Keeping the remaining, if some what deflated, inflatable sheep company! The evening’s music was sorted out by Wheels & he had booked a folk group, well a duo, who started off with old English Folk songs that were unfortunately lost on most. One of the few songs that some of the Pack knew was “The leaving of Liverpool” did this bring a tear to Ever Ready’s eye? It certainly did lead to some glazed expressions on the rest in the room but not for sentimental reasons! While the Folk duo were on their break, & having a few “Hey Nonny Nonnies” at the bar, Wheels played a few of his CD’s & the Pack filled the dance floor as the Bee Gees’ Night Fever starting things off. It wasn’t until the Folk duo’s second set & they played Steelers Wheel, followed by stuff like Whiskey in the Jar that the Hash got back on the dance floor to move around. The Folk duo didn’t hang around long, even though their second set seemed more popular. Perhaps they had to be up early for some Morris dancing? So, it was back to the Bee Gees of Wheels’ Disco to take the Hash through to the early hours. Sunday Morning & after breakfast some ventured upstairs in the Barn, there Sweet Breads was searching for her lost gear & didn’t want this to fall in to Matilda’s hands in the Circle. So it was pointed out that most of her outer attire for the night was adorning the main beam above her head, she need a hand to reclaim these items as they were out of her reach up there. Time to circle up for the Sunday 1235 Trail, or Yan, Tan, Thethera, Methera, Pip as Matilda put it! Yes, he was at that Sheep counting speak again, it was also another Settle & District Hash as announced by Half Pint. Matilda was soon calling out those who had carelessly left their glasses unattended, again Ever Ready was in the Circle, as was Shaggy Plug! It’s almost like a ritual for these two sinners to be called forth. However there was something different this morning in the circle, as there was a naming to be made! With the Pack having been told that the she was a veterinary nurse & just had been castrating lambs for the last two weeks, what a fun life she leads! There was no alternative in Mr.X’s mind than shouting out Sweet Breads, strangely enough this proved to be so popular there were no other offers were put forward & thus she was named. The Hares of Jake the Peg & Bog Hopper were introduced & after an explanation of the marking s the Pack were let loose. They all went off across the sheep field toward the river where there was no dust what so ever! The Pack were told of their mistake as those in the YHA had seen the freshly laid flour out on the main road, so one flock of sheep mindlessly move out of the way as another moved away from the river. Up over the cattle-grid & the Pack found a CHK out by the B&B at the farm entrance, no need to look up the hill toward the YHA as the T had already been spotted, so it was south toward Settle! The next CHK was found on the pavement by a Paper recycling factory, the Keenies were lured over the road to look underneath the stone bridge with the famous Settle to Carlisle Railway above. Both options running along side the line were searched but both proved fruitless. Back under the bridge & the Dust was found leading further along the Settle road, as the road dipped down into a valley another CHK was found. From there Trail was discovered over a dry stone wall & across a sheep field, it was at this CHK that Twonk & Me Juliee decided that they would take a “Long”short cut & stay walking along the road to go straight to Settle on what was a hillier route. The Pack reached the stone wall at the end of one field, there the Accrington Ferrets could not believe their eyes, with a war like cry of “No Hole to small!” Shaggy Plug & Matilda both dived into the concrete drainage pipes built in got to the stone wall. This was where the Trail was supposed to go but a few disobeyed Lick It Up’s instructions not to use the steps to get over the wall, well they had no choice when they found their passage was blocked! (That doesn’t sound very nice!) The Trail continued across two more walled in fields by the Ribble before it reached the weir at Langcliffe place, to get to this the Pack had to scale an even taller stone wall by way of several protruding stones. The Dust led up to the weir, the Trail crossed the metal footbridge to go over the Ribble, a CHK on the opposite Bank saw Mr.X & My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead looking along the river bank with Fox’s Glacier Mint. “On!” was called back on the lane toward Stackhouse & Fox’s Glacier Mint returned to the fold, while the other two took it upon themselves to persevere with the rocky river route, which led them up a steep embankment to the green fields by Settle lane where the other FRBs were searching, having looped back from Stackhouse. Now there were several footpaths heading out toward Settle, Mr.X & My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead took to one of these & didn’t turn back as the Trail led up through the wooded cairn & over by Catteral Hall & down into Giggleswick, once the home to such celebrities as Russell Harty & Richard Whitely. Which reminds me what goes "Dah dah, dah dah, dah dah dah dah doooooooooh"? Richard Whitely's Heart monitor! The Beer Stop there saw the Pack swamp the Pub, the Bar staff admitted that they weren’t able to deal with it at first, the numbers were too much for them. Having supped up the Trail continued around into Settle & the next Pub stop was the Golden Lion, there Mr.X & My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead were found at the Bar. They had been there since opening time & they were accompanied by Me Juliee & Twonk, who had been pipped to the bar by the Herts Lads! Also with them was Brer Phil, who had come out for the day & even, bravely in some opinions, taken Twonk down to meet her Mum in a local shop! When rest of the Pack arrived in town, there were a few spurious accusations aimed at Mr.X & My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead for short cutting. The Pack made their way out to the courtyard of the Golden Lion when summoned, there the Hash had to be on their toes as a golf ball, found on Trail, was doing the rounds quiet literally! If an unsuspecting Hasher took an eye off of this it would end up being slipped in to the said pint & the owner of it would have to down it in one. Hyena made sure he wouldn’t get caught out & he kept his large paw covering the top of his glass, not that he had to worry as Shaggy Plug & Ever Ready where there to be picked on & they were! But why was he not punished by the RA for not drinking out of his Yorkshire 1234 “TC” glass over the weekend? It still smarted with him that he hadn’t his own name on one! The Pack moved on en masse & headed just over the road to the local Social Club, more beer & a great spread of food had been put on. Once the Pack hade made some inroads in to the mountain of grub, Matilda called the circle inside for the Down-Downs & the raffle to take place. There were plenty of Down-Downs, too many to recall but as you know Shaggy Plug & Ever Ready’s faces were going to be seen several times inside the Circle, as like in the Salem Witch Trials they were Guilty before even being tried! After a bit of a warm up with a short version of Father Abraham, the Circle disbanded & a few returned to the site, a lot decided that they would follow the Herts Guys on a Pub crawl of the Village. Since they had already done this once on the Friday, the Herts gang were responsible for leading the way around the back streets to the Talbot. While most relaxed in the Talbot, Me Juliee didn’t & was kept on her toes, she wasn’t impressed by Mr.X’s wind up caterpillar, Mouldy Dick said it should have a name, so Mr.X said how about “Bugsy?” Matilda said that was his name! Mr.X then added “Dave Bugsy?” & Matilda again said that this was his name! While in the Talbot, Big Foot got tell everyone gathered how she caught out Mr.X at the Craven Heifer the day before & she re-ran the story about the Mr. X & Hughie Blaaaaargh filling traffic cones up wet sand to block the access to Fag End & Wha de Say’s Tent at a Hooray Henley Hash, only to find out form Big Foot that one Harriette had been peeing on the sand! Several pints later & it was time to move on, the Pack size dwindled to a handful as most headed off home leaving just a few to go over the village square to the Royal Oak. Max & Me Juliee joined the Herts lads in the Pub with the revolving door, the temptation to get Hyena stuck within this was great but Mr.X resisted it. In the Royal Oak, Me Juliee was treated to some more birthday chocolates from the village shop, these didn’t last long were devoured in the Pub. Time came to thinking about returning to base. So Mr. X rang a local Taxi number, only to be informed by a recorded message that there would be no cabs available until the 6th of June! So, on Mr. X & My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead’s advice, Hyena, Max & Me Juliee all decided that they would join them on walking back along side the river Ribble. The Pleasant stroll back through the fields by the water took only 35 minutes, well it would have if Hyena wasn’t in his top gear of dawdle! At one point Mr. X had to go back to make sure that Hyena didn’t miss where the Trail descended a steep slope to the river, it was at this point that Mr. X’s mobile fell out of the front pouch of his Full Moon bum-bag! Back at base for food, some had taken the opportunity to crash out for a while, the hardier ones hung around the bar area listening to Candyfloss’s laptop. Later on upstairs, those who were now slumped in the various sofas & chairs were kept amused by a couple of Hashers who were juggling with batons! At one point these batons flew only inches by a blindfolded Matilda, if they had known him better then the odd baton may have gone astray! If this wasn’t enough daring do, four volunteers were called for. Mr. X & My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead were amazed to see that Hyena on his way back from the bar, walked in to this & put himself forward, he never volunteers! Hyena, Rapunzle, Candyfloss & another were all sat on wooden chairs, they were then asked to lean backward with arms folded & knees still bent & they were moved in to a position where each one was supporting the others weight, it did look pretty spectacular when the chairs were remove one by one & they were all left propping each other up in a reclined seated position! After the tragic magic show, Wheels put on his CDs for the crowd to dance to, it started off with the Bee Gees, then a bit of Donna Summer & these seemed to get repeated before the Yorkshire duo took the stage. The evening’s main entertainment was supplied by Wheels & Jake the Peg, they brought the music forward up from the previous day 1650’s & 1760’s to heady days of the 1950’s & 1960’s as they strummed their way through some classic rock & roll tracks, the crowd remained on the dance floor. In fact they crowd were encouraged to sit in three lines, each in another’s lap to rock from side to side & row, as well as backward & forward along with the songs. This got the Pack involved & was a great laugh. Once the two Yorkshire lads had finished their set, it was back to Wheels’ CDs, some thought that they may have to go & see a Doctor as there was a serious out break Night-fever as the Heebie BeeGees occurred again with the Bee Gees were singing Night Fever, this song would crop up again less than 20 minutes later as did Donna Summer’s “I’m in love”. Mr.X said that Wheels would have to buy some more Sunday Papers to get a few more those free CDs to add to his collection! Down at the Bar & as the time just passed 01:00Hrs horror of horrors, the last of the barrels of beer finally ran out, so it was on to back up of the cans in the slabs behind the bar. By the end of the night Wheels bowed down to the remaining crowd & let Candyfloss bring his computer up & play some music that was even more modern, well the 1980’s & 1990’s! Mr.X sang all of the words to David Bowies Golden Years to one Harriette as he stumbled about the dance floor. The remaining few stalwarts then had a choice of what they wanted to hear as they picked out their favourites from Candyfloss’s menu to stagger around to in to the early hours. In the morning at the YHA, the departing Herts gang run into Rooster, Spingo & Co from the Old Coulsdon Hash, they were up there to take part in the three peaks challenge & Mr.X said that they should have popped down to meet the rest at the Bunkhouse over the weekend. The Hash didn’t need an alarm clock to rise on Monday morning, not as this was a working farm & the noise of a large diesel engine punctured the calm of the birdsong. The lad in the huge Mercedes kept moving it back & forth between the barns, all for no apparent purpose. After Breakfast, a lot of the Hash began to disperse & this meant that those who were going take part in the Yan, Tan, Therthra, Sethera run would be far & few between. The Herts Lads said their goodbyes & departed for Settle before the Trail got under way. The weather remained fine as Jake the Peg & Big foot had left most of it in the Isle of Wight. A great YH3 Weekend, in a great area, with great beer & great company! On the way home the Herts Lads looked at scrap of paper Eveready had handed them, this had the new Yorkshire Hash anthem that isn’t quiet complete yet, there is a saying that from small acorns mighty oaks grow! So after reading “We are the Yorkshire Hash, England’s pride & joy, We like our beer & trumpets, Most of all we like our crumpets!” Mr. X though that the saying “Pay peanuts, you get monkeys!” was more apt! Mr. X


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