YH3 Logo Yorkshire
Hash House Harriers
YH3 Logo
YH3 Run No 1230, The Daisy, Bramley, 8th May 2006

Hares – Matilda & Jake the Peg

Scribe – Jake the Peg

It was a stinking good trail. Then again, I would say that, wouldn’t I? Considering that it all came together at the last minute and that several folk were (or went) missing on the trail, it didn’t turn out too badly.

I turned up at Matilda’s at 5.35pm. We had a quick squint at the map, imagined a trail through Bramley’s finest council estates, bluebell woods and watering holes and then set off to do our worst.

At 7.25 we strolled into the Daisy to see if anyone had arrived. A small and sorry bunch greeted us. Candyfloss was resplendent in his office garb. Wonkey Donkey, HRT, Grope and Stick waited patiently. Flossie and Evers drifted in just after half past, followed soon after by Bigfoot (who had the effrontery to delay her arrival so she could finish listening to The Archers), Weasel Shit and Rapunzel. When it got round to 7.40, we thought we’d better go. No sooner were we outside when Doberwoman swerved into the car park (replete with three dogs and articulated lorry). Finally, Wheels and Lick it Up arrived having walked all the way from Headingley in less than 10 minutes. We eventually got away at 7.45, wondering if it would still be light when we returned …

… which was a genuine concern as this trail covered similar ground to a 6.5 mile, two beer stop monster that I set with Ramsbottom and Rudolph from the same pub on a dark February Monday night in 1993. On that occasion I pleaded ignorance and inexperience on the grounds that it was only my second trail. This time round (and 92 lays (trails, that is) later), the route was half the length with just one beer stop. How much time did this save us last night? A grand total of five minutes! What a slow load of old gits we’ve become in the space of 13 years!

But I’m jumping ahead. The trail set off past Matilda’s gaff (recently sold and soon to be vacated) and down towards the Stanningley bypass. Wheels, Grope and a few other usual suspects headed straight across the footbridge shouting “We always go this way …” Never in the field of Yorkshire hashing have so many stared in disbelief at a false trail marker for so long. Eventually we coaxed the silly sods back and directed them through the Spring Valley estate and across the next footbridge on the edge of Swinnow. Here the real fun began. A robust check held everyone up for a few minutes before the pack found their way onto the scrappy woodland and fly-tipping site that is Hough End. A mixture of open paths, brambles, scrub, burned out cars and steep slopes led down to Wickes on Pudsey Road, where the local youth were attempting to rip the front off the shop. As they say round here “NFB” (Normal for Bramley).

Moving swiftly on into Troydale, the scenery improved dramatically – woodland, bluebells and stunning views across to Pudsey greeted us as the trail wound to the top of Post Hill. Unfortunately (and amongst others), Wheels, Doberwoman and Weasel Shit had got themselves stranded down in the valley, convinced that we were heading in the other direction. Weasel retired hurt at this point, having crocked his knee. All the other waifs and strays eventually got back on trail and, after another half-mile of bluebell woods, we arrived at the Beulah on Tong Road for a well-earned beer stop.

The troops started to get restless at this point – “Where are we”? “It must be miles back to the pub”! “I don’t know where I am”! “Which way’s South from here”? “We’ll be out until midnight”! “We’ll have to call a fleet of taxis”! “Is that Dewsbury over there”?

Matilda and I knew at this point that we could revel in a hare’s job well done. The masses were a mere mile or so from home and (even the locals) had not a clue where they were.

Nonetheless, there was some work still to do. Tong Road, Gamble Lane, a snicket down to the Ring Road, another snicket across Farnley Beck, track round the edge of Gamble Hill and a final sting in the tail with a climb up Henconner Lane then On Inn along Stanningley Road. We were all back by about 9.30.

Inside, we moved nomadically from room to room. Leeds United had the cheek to be playing their playoff semi-final second leg against Preston North End. The pub was jumping and (in amongst Leeds scoring a couple of goals and getting two players sent off) seats were scarce. Who knows, by the time this nonsense is published, Leeds might be back in the Premiership. On the other hand, don’t hold your breath!

No Statsman, no Raffle Dollies, no cash (due to Shaggy Plug’s RA excesses the previous week) and only about 14 folk in total. Nonetheless, the butties were good and FD / Matilda cobbled together an entertaining and concise circle, despite several folk disappearing in advance. Pecking order was roughly like this (apologies if I’ve missed anyone (and I know I have) – I’m working without notes):

Jake & Matilda (Hares)

Wonkey Donkey (50 Runs)

Doberwoman (Returnee)

The final Down Down was awarded to Rapunzel who left the pub too late (Hmm another pint and butties to blame) to catch the last train to South Milford. Upon his return to the pub he also informed us that he had left his running kit behind to boot! A fine impression of Clueless by any standard and a fitting example of the standard of an ex YH3 GM.

We’ll be back soon – maybe when Leeds United are relegated from the Conference …

On On to the FA Cup Final on Saturday. Liveeeeerpooooool!!!!!


Back to Write Ups index

Back to YH3 Home